I know none of us want to hear this, but here it is: one day, our children will make decisions without us in the room. They will face pressure we cannot remove, questions we cannot answer for them, and opportunities that require them to know who they are and what they believe.
What we build into their lives today will definitely matter in those moments.
That conviction is at the heart of my book, Parenting with Purpose. It has been available for about four months now, and I am grateful to see it being received, read, and taught. My prayer is that its message is finding its way into the daily life of families, into conversations, decisions, prayers, and the way parents understand the responsibility God has entrusted to them.
I wrote this book with the parent in mind who is right in the thick of raising children. The parent navigating busy mornings, bedtime resistance, difficult attitudes, and questions that seem to get bigger as the children get older. The parent who loves deeply but sometimes lies awake wondering, Am I giving them what they need?
I wanted to share a resource that would bless you, strengthen you, and help you develop a plan to lead your children toward everything God desires for them to become. I truly believe and teach that loving our children carries with it a calling: to help them know the God who loves them even more than we do.
“The greatest threat to the next generation is not the culture around your children. It is the forgetfulness within your home.” – Darin Sargent, in Parenting with Purpose
And here is something else I believe: I believe the home is the most powerful redemptive agency God created to display His glory through everyday relationships. Within a family, children can encounter forgiveness after failure, faithfulness through difficulty, and love that remains steady when life becomes uncertain. They can see what repentance looks like. They can experience the security of belonging. They can learn that God’s truth speaks into ordinary life.
Think about how much spiritual formation happens in moments that never look particularly spiritual.
A child watches how we respond when someone inconveniences us. A teenager listens to the way we talk about people who disagree with us. Our families notice what receives our attention, what controls our emotions, and what we make time for.
Over time, those moments help shape their understanding of the faith we profess. When we apologize without making excuses, we demonstrate repentance. When we pray about a difficult situation, we show them where we turn for help. When we follow through on a promise, we give them an experience of faithfulness.
Our homes give our words a daily setting in which to become believable.
That is why we must take our place in our children’s discipleship. I love the church. I believe in the ministry of pastors, Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, and the faithful people who invest in the next generation. Their influence can make an eternal difference.
But we cannot place the full responsibility for raising godly young men and women on their shoulders. The teaching our children receive at church needs a continuing conversation at home. They need opportunities to ask what a passage means, why a conviction matters, and how to live what they are learning. They need to hear us speak about God’s goodness from our own experience.
In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, God speaks through Moses, instructing His people to keep His words in their hearts and teach them diligently to their children throughout daily life. That instruction reaches into the home, the journey, the evening, and the morning.
There is something deeply practical about that picture. God places the teaching of truth within the life a family already shares. A conversation on the way to school can become an opportunity to talk about courage. A disappointment can open the door to prayer. A conflict between siblings can become a lesson in taking responsibility and offering forgiveness.
We have these opportunities because we are there, living alongside them.
The challenge is to recognize them and respond with purpose. I truly believe that purposeful parenting begins with an honest question: What are we preparing our children to carry into adulthood?
We naturally give attention to their education, friendships, abilities, and future opportunities. Those things deserve care. Their spiritual formation deserves that same deliberate attention.
Are we helping them understand Scripture? Are we teaching them how to pray? Do they feel safe bringing us difficult questions? Are they learning to make decisions from conviction? Can they see us following Jesus when obedience costs us something?
These questions not only help us examine the direction of our homes. They also give us a starting point.
In Parenting with Purpose: Five Foundations for Shaping the Next Generation, I organize that conversation around five foundations: Loving, Learning, Living, Leading, and Launching a Legacy. Together, they address the relationships, teaching, example, and guidance through which we prepare our children for their own walk with God. You can find the book at Pentecostal Publishing House and even download the first chapter to read for free.
Putting purpose into practice can begin with something small enough to do today.
Set your phone aside and give your child your full attention. Ask what has been weighing on their heart, and allow enough silence for an honest answer. Read a short passage of Scripture together and talk about what it reveals about God. Pray about something specific your child is facing.
If you spoke harshly, return to the conversation and take responsibility. That last step matters. Our children need to see how a person who loves God responds to their own failures. A sincere apology can teach them that humility belongs in every relationship, including the relationship between a parent and a child.
You can say, “The way I spoke to you was wrong. Will you forgive me?” You can uphold a necessary boundary while acknowledging that your tone failed to reflect your love. That kind of honesty helps create a home where growth is possible for everyone.
And if you are reading this with regret, I want you to hear me: you can take a faithful step from where you are right now.
Perhaps your family has been through a difficult season. Perhaps you were never shown how to lead a home spiritually. Perhaps your children are older, and you wish you had started some of these conversations years ago. Bring those concerns to God. Ask Him for wisdom about the next conversation, the next decision, and the next opportunity to love well.
We cannot control every choice our children will make. They must respond to God for themselves. But we can be faithful in our example, clear in our teaching, generous in our love, and persistent in prayer. When the results are slow, or the journey becomes painful, we can continue trusting God with the people we love.
My desire is that, long after we are off the scene, our children will still carry the truths we worked to place in their hearts. That they will know how to seek God when life becomes difficult. That they will recognize His voice through His Word. That they will pass along a living testimony of His faithfulness to another generation.
That future gives weight and meaning to what we do today. The prayer beside a bed matters. The patient answer matters. The boundary explained with love matters. The decision to keep showing up, even when you are tired and unsure, matters.
Much of this work happens behind the scenes, but here is the beauty of it all: God sees it.
If you want help thinking intentionally about the spiritual direction of your home, I invite you to read Parenting with Purpose. My prayer is that it will encourage you and help you approach this calling with greater clarity.
Purchase Parenting with Purpose at pentecostalpublishing.com.
I also invite you to explore the Parenting with Purpose coaching program through Intentional Family Ministries as a next step in your parenting journey. You can learn more about the Parenting with Purpose coaching program by going to The Intentional Family website.
Before this day is over, somewhere between the unfinished chores and the end of a long day, there may be an opportunity to listen, to pray, or to speak a truth your child needs to hear. Give that moment your attention.
It may become something they carry for the rest of their lives.
On your side,
Darin Sargent